What's going on now

Yes, it has been way too long since I have blogged. I totally missed Christmas, and Brayden's birthday!! Truth is I just haven't had time. What I can tell you is that the holidays were absolutely wonderful. I can't express how much it meant to me. I have pictures galore and need to post them because Brayden was an absolute joy! I'm so glad god blessed me with the wonderful child. He is the greatest!

I will just start from what's going on right now. I have a couple of resolutions this year and so far its going good. The first one I have started working on is my overall health. I have started eating healthier and exercising. I have done a lot better with eating healthy rather than exercise lol... It's hard to find time. I have already lost 12 pounds! That doesn't seem like very much to me though. I have always done the crash dieting. The last diet I was on was low carb. I ate little to no carbs and exercised almost two hours a day. I dropped about 50 pounds in less than 3 months. It was very unhealthy and my body definitely payed for it. I vowed never to go down that route again. So I will stick with the 2 pounds a week and stay proud and positive.
My other Resolutions are to quit smoking and get out of debt! I haven't quit yet but I will. I am taking steps to get my finances in order. Its important to me because I want to be able to buy my dream home and afford a lot of other things. 2010 is going to be a great year! I'm staying positive and heading in the right direction.

Brayden is almost 14 months now and I can't believe how fast time has gone by. It feels like it was just yesterday that he was my little baby boy. Helpless and needed me for everything. I could hold him in my arms for hours. Now he is a toddler and Mr. Independent! No mommy I'll do it. It's amazing how incredibly smart he is. He picks up on the littlest things. He starting to get mischievous and sometimes its cute, other times stressful. He has this new scream now that is like nails on a chalk board! I hate when he's upset and uses that scream. Its sad not knowing exactly what is bugging him or what he wants. I have taught him to sign but only a couple things. He still cant tell me where it hurts or even if it does. Before I know it he'll be talking away and wont stop. I will continue to enjoy every little moment I have with my little man.

Life is wonderful!

Not enough time

I know it has been forever since I have blogged. I have a lot of stuff to do and not enough time in the day. Unfortunately, I am so tired and have to go to bed. I will update this tomorrow.. Good night people.

Walk a mile in my shoes

It really bugs me when people don't hold there self accountable for their actions. I suppose they think it's easier to blame others than them self.... I absolutely do not like it when someone makes it all about them no matter what the situation may be. I wake up every morning thinking I will do my best today. Life isn't an easy by any means but it is what you make it. If someone is going to talk down to me than I will just brush it off. Why? Because I'm better than that. I know that I am an honest person with great intentions. So the next time you even think about blaming me ask yourself this.... Is it really her fault???

Thanksgiving

For as long as I can remember Thanksgiving was always my favorite holiday. Well, this year that has definitely changed! I did have a wonderful day but it wasn't exactly how I wanted it. I spent my first dinner with Russ' family, the second dinner was with some of my family. The only reason I like this holiday is because the whole family gets together and eats lots of delicious food. If everyone isn't there than it's not the same.. Needless to say I am really looking forward to Christmas!! I've NEVER liked Christmas except for when I was a kid. Brayden sure does help change my whole perspective on things.

 

Pain and Discomfort

Brayden is finally over roseola!!  Last Thursday he had a fever. Russ called me and asked me to leave work and come home early. He was so worried and just didn't know what to do. I walked in the door and Brayden just cried out for me. I took his temp and it was 102.7 so off to the doctors we went. The Dr told me that he had a double ear infection and possibly the swine flu. He said that I just had to let it pass. That night his temperature reached 104. At this point I was so worried and stressed out I just didn't know what to do. After all, this is my first child so I'm basically learning as I go. I called my sister and my mom. Thankfully, my sister lives right upstairs from me and rushed down. We put cold wash clothes under his arm pits, groin area, and neck. He was just screaming and moaning. I just couldn't stand to see him in so much pain. I wanted to just take it all away and make him feel better. We finally got his temperature down to 102. The rest of the night was really rough. He just couldn't sleep nor could I. All I did was worry about him and if he was okay. Friday night his temp reached 105.2. I was in tears when I called my mom. I rushed him to the IHC ER. I waited about fifteen minutes for them to call his name. We went on back to have the nurse check him out. She says we have to get his fever down. She shoved Motrin down his throat while he was screaming!! I was really, really, upset by this point. When the Dr finally came in 15 minutes later he stated that he has the swine flu. He recommended that I give him tamiflu and just let it pass. His fever had gone down a little so we went on home. Every three hours I had to force him to take medicine to ensure his fever stayed down. Saturday he was still running a fever and was miserable. I was debating going to get his prescription filled or not. I have heard about all of the side effects associated with it. I decided I wouldn't get it.  I was thankful that his fever didn't spike back up that night. He slept for 13 hours straight. Sunday he started breaking out in a rash. Small little circles began to spread all over his body. I did some research and couldn't find anything that looked quite like it. I was then debating taking him back to the ER. I figured he was doing a little better so I would wait until the morning. Well Monday morning rolled around and they had gotten worse. We went to the Dr and discovered that he had Roseola. It only took a total of three trips! I was relieved and disgusted at the same time. Why didn't the previous Dr's run tests? They just said it's the swine flu and sent us on our way. For those of you who don't know what roseola is. It's basically a form of the measles. Fist off, the whole swine flu thing is totally overrated. I'm sick of hearing about it. Second, about 85% of Dr's do this just for the money. This was the first time my son had been this sick. It had to have been the most stressful, worry-some, and sad thing I had ever experienced. I had to watch my son go through that and I couldn't do anything for him. I hope there isn't a next time but I'm sure there will be. I will be prepared.

Change

All of us experience change in our lives. Change is the one constant in our lives. There are changes that we look forward too and change that we fear. However, one thing is for sure. Things will not stay the same no matter how much we would like them too. When a life change occurs, we have two choices in how to respond. We can despair that a change has come and assume that things will be worse, or we can look with excitement at the new possibilities that the change presents.

Before I was a mom

Before I was a mom I never learned the words to a lullaby. I never thought about immunizations, I have never been puked on, pooped on, drooled on, chewed on, or peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple little grin. I never sat up for hours watching a baby sleep. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a mom.